I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
