i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
