But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
