How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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