I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
