she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
