the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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