after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
