Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
