I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
