Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
