I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
