Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
