wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
