It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
