Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
