how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
