You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
