Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
