Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
time to smoke my breakfast
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
