Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it's great music for shaving your balls
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
