I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
