this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
