after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
