I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
