I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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