Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
2020 sucks, I want a refund
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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