Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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