As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
