My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
