If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
