oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
