i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
