I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A+ Viking dick
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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