We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate all girls vehemently.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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