your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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