dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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