if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
3pm strippers are depressing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
