it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
