just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
