escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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