I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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