He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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