It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
