Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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