There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
