i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
