I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
