Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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