Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
