babies were throwing up all over the place
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
