3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My nipple is on Facebook.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
